Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride? Not so much...

Despite knowing over a dozen girls -- from high school, sorority days and graduate school -- who have tied the knot in the past few years, I have never been asked to be a bridesmaid. Well, that's not completely accurate as I had one friend who wanted me to be in her bridal party, but her shotgun wedding made it impossible for me to attend. But I've never actually been in a wedding and honestly, that never surprised me.
















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I've always been more of a guy's girl. My five best friends in law school were guys. Heck, my ten closest friends in law school were guys. Despite being in a sorority in college, I kept in touch with more guys than girls after graduation. Same with high school -- with the exception of two or three girls, the only people I talk to on an even semi-regular basis* are boys. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of girl friends, just rarely anyone I was super close to. They all had closer girlfriends than I, but it never bothered me.

I ended up asking four girls to be in my bridal party because my fiance absolutely could not cut his down to three**, and I wanted the party to be symmetrical because I'm super neurotic. The first three I was able to pick with ease -- my oldest friend (even though we're not super close anymore, there was no way she couldn't be in my wedding), my current best friend that I've known since high school, though we didn't really become close friends until after we both graduated (another guy's girl...perhaps why we get along so well), and my "big sis" from my sorority (who I have always admired and looked up to...it just felt right to honor her). I had some trouble picking the fourth because there simply were no girls that I felt close to in the same way as the other three.

In the end, I ended up going with a girl from law school because I had a friend from elementary, a friend from high school, a friend from college and now a friend from grad school. Remember how I said my ten closest friends in law school were all boys? Well, at least that meant it was easy to pick a girl because I had exactly two girl friends from law school -- one that I stayed in touch with after graduation, and one that I didn't. I don't mean to detract anything from our friendship and don't want to imply that I only picked her because I went to grad school with her. Honestly, there were two other girls I considered for that fourth slot, but I am just as close to them as the girl I actually picked. And, in many respects, she has become a closer friend now simply because I keep in better touch with her through my updates on my wedding and her questions about travel arrangements.

I had also briefly toyed with having my closer guy friends in my bridal party, but I did not want to upset my fiance. I'm sure he would have said it was fine, but there is something a bit inappropriate about asking an ex-boyfriend or a guy your fiance doesn't like or a guy your fiance knows has had a crush on you for years to be in your wedding party, isn't there?

I picked these girls because they mean something to my life. They are girls I admire and respect. Girls who have helped me through hard times, girls that I have called sobbing, girls that I am so honored to have in my wedding. But that doesn't mean I expect to be a part of each of their weddings. Bridesmaid L, yes...I would be quite hurt if she didn't want me to be in her bridal party but I know that our "best friend" street goes two ways. But the others? Not so much, even the one that I have known since elementary school. But there are no hard feelings and I don't believe there should be. I never feel like just because you ask someone to be your bridesmaid you should automatically assume that they will ask you. Otherwise, some girls may end up with 27 bridesmaids like Katherine Heigl's character in 27 Dresses.

So I was pleasantly surprised (okay, I squealed with delight and my fiance gave me a funny look) when recently engaged Bridesmaid B called today and asked if I wanted to be one of her bridesmaids! I had simply assumed that I wasn't in her bridal part and I was fine with that. I was satisfied with an invitation to her wedding. She had been engaged for almost two months and didn't say anything until today when she was out getting fitted for the bridesmaid dress she's wearing to my wedding. I'm so excited to be a bridesmaid!!!


*I'm excluding the facebook "Hey! Happy Birthday!" messages from "semi-regular basis" status.
**In fairness to him, he does have a brother that he had to ask and I do not have any sisters, so I could understand his need to ask three friends and his brother...I would not have been able to make do with asking just two friends!